Send My Exes to Hell

Neko's Cell Phone Cleansing Ritual:

Supplies: 1 scented candle, any pleasing scent
1 bottle of wine
1 wine glass (optional)
1 half pound brick of Chocolate/Walnut fudge,
or substitute 1 large bag of M&Ms, or pint of ice cream
1 movie on DVD (Thelma & Louise or Enough recommended)
or subsitute good friend's phone number

Center candle on small table. Place bottle of wine with wine glass to the right of the candle (to the left, if you're left-handed). Place cell phone in front of candle. Set fudge on lap or to the left of the candle (opposite the wine). Light candle and uncork wine. Pick up cell phone and open your contacts list. Go through the list alphabetically and delete the information for any ex-boy/girlfriend, jerk who never called you, or one night stand. For each name deleted, repeat the following 3 times:

Chant : My memory of you into the trash and on your prick/clit a nasty rash,
I banish you from my contact list, along with thought of our foregone trist.

Follow with three swigs of wine and three bites of fudge for each name deleted.

When the cell phone has been purged, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Then, extinguish the candle, pick up the fudge and wine, and find a comfy couch or lounging place from which the DVD and television are visible. Start movie and proceed to consume entire bottle of wine and brick of fudge. As an alternative, contact a close friend and bitch for an hour about how much you hate the opposite sex.

Hell Turns Another Decade

Since today is my last day of being twenty-something, I've been doing much in the way of reflecting. There are, in fact, some things I have learned in my long and tortured life that have pearlized into shiny nuggets of knowledge; beads of wisdom to carry along into my next decade of life. And here, my friends, is where I share them with you in hopes that you may glean some small bit of understanding in the ways of the Nekoverse.

1. Everything in life is much more bearable with comfortable footwear.

2. You cannot hope to change everyone in the world. However, you can change yourself and make a world of difference in that way.

3. Learn to give your monkeys to others. I.e. whenever possible, place your burdens on more appropriate shoulders.

4. Become a connosuir of the things you love.

5. You cannot force someone to love you.

6. Next time, marry for money.

(I might add more later tonight.)

A Foggy Day In Helldon Town

The local weather channel reported the weather this morning as "Dense Freezing Fog". I like fog, not so much to drive in, but it's cool to walk around in. It's the freezing part that I don't care for. Strange weather for the area. We don't usually see fog and I've never heard of the freezing variety. It would be great to live someplace where the fog is a common occurance, like London or San Francisco for instance. Everything's so quiet and misty and creepy looking. The black, jagged skeletons of the winter trees outlined by the mist are beautiful.

In other news, the Fall Out Boy album that dropped Tuesday, which I bought Tuesday, but didn't burn to my pod until last night and didn't listen to until this morning, gets two thumbs up in my book. It's a rare joy to hear an album that you can listen to all the way through. If you like the band, it's a great album. If you don't you won't like the new one as it's very typical of their music. My favorite track so far is number two ~ The Take Over, The Breaks Over.

The boy I've been seeing is in San Francisco right now. He never responds to my text messages. Several times now, I've vowed to stop sending them. I think I've become far more attached than I intended. Fallen in love, maybe. It's a one-way street, I'm afraid. So, I'm trying to keep in mind Shenry's advice to me regarding taking in all of the ups and downs of a relationship and letting them wash over me. Trying to enjoy all the aspects. It's like torture to me. I keep wondering if I should just call it off, or hold out to see what happens. He told me that he might not come back from his trip, but that he'd keep in touch. "Keeping in Touch" doesn't seem to be his strong suit.

Hell Boy, That'll Learn Ya!

Here is a word that needs to be in the vocabulary of every man:

re·cip·ro·cate [ ri sípprə kàyt ] (past and past participle re·cip·ro·cat·ed, present participle re·cip·ro·cat·ing, 3rd person present singular re·cip·ro·cates)

verb

Definition:

1. transitive and intransitive verb give mutually: to give or feel something mutually or in return
I couldn't accept such a generous gift without reciprocating.

Once you learn it, please pass it on to the guy I'm dating. I made him a birthday card, chock full of naughty pics of myself, all wrapped up in a black lace ribbon....
He sent me a text saying that it was "nice". So, does that mean he liked them, or not? I was lucky to get a text at all.

Sheesh...why do I bother?

Hhhhhheeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

(sing to tune of 'London Bridges'):

Toooo much coffEE makes me buzz,
makes me buzz,
makes me buzz.

Toooo much coffEE makes me buzz,
makes me buzz,
makes me buzz...

I'm Viii-bray-ting!