Pictures From the Pit of Hell

Ugh. Have I always been this hateful? Every morning, I despise everyone I see to the point that my stomach churns. Waking up every day has gotten to be like the pain of birth - from the child's perspective, not the mother's. Have you ever stopped to think what a traumatic experience being born must have been? And yet, none of us remembers it. Maybe we're all blocking it out. Fucking torture anyway.

So, yesterday I went to get a salad and had a detestable experience waiting in line. I've got to figure out how I can live my life with the most minimal contact with other humans as possible. On the other hand, maybe it's just this city or just this country that sucks. I still hold out hope for the rest of the world. America is going to crash and burn and we all deserve it. Oh, wait...there was a point....yeah, the purse. I managed to snap, at the end of my long wait in line, a shot of another hideous handbag It isn't loaded with shiny buckles and formed out of animal skin, but it's gross nonetheless. Behold, in all it's horror:



And did I tell you about the guy on the bus a couple of weeks ago? Oh man. It was all I could do not to laugh hysterically. Let this be a lesson to everyone out there to embrace their true body size and shop accordingly (or at least dress accordingly):



Did you pee just a little? I did. Freakin' hilarious! I feel a little better now.

What the Hell Is That?!

Look at what my co-workers gave me for the holidays:



It's a Red Lion Amaryllis plant! It came in a nice little box with a pot and some soil to plant the bulb in. As you can see, the pot's not nearly big enough. When it grows up, it should look something like this:



It's funny that my fellow employees should get me a plant as a gift. I mean, sure, I have more plants at my desk than anyone else in the office. However, I'm really terrible at caring for them! The ones I have are all orphaned and I adopted them from eminent disposal.

In other news, the holidays suck (as always), it's freezing outside (and in here too!), I think I'm coming down with a cold, and my mom's mom will probably die on Christmas day. ....and you wonder why I haven't posted in a while...