9.16.2008
IWBIH 7
...and it was a good thing too, because Neko wasn't entirely decided on the subject. It could be said that she went both ways, but she was leaning hard to one side lately. She was just about done with them altogether...
9.15.2008
IWBIH 6
...She wondered if, eventually, her hatred for her "fellow man" would consume her and drive her to insanity. Already, a burning anger dominated her thoughts whenever she was forced among the masses. She fantisized about the most efficient ways to thin the population. She needed an outlet, a release, before she lost it completely...
9.11.2008
IWBIH 5
...most of the girls' names she couldn't remember at first. But, one named Alice made an impression right away. It was hard not to notice how beautiful she was, under that spiky red hair and all of the ink...
IWBIH 4
...Neko went to the sink the next morning and spit out a tooth, along with a good-sized chunk of the inside of her cheek. She wondered how people in the movies made getting hit in the head with a two-by-four look so pleasant compared to the real thing...
9.10.2008
IWBIH 3
...being a secret society, The Sisterhood of course had an initiation process. Neko couldn't expand on the details, but it involved getting arrested...
Hell Was in a Movie Last Night (pt. 2)
...The sisterhood was aided, in part, by an ambitious young printer named Max Donahue who ran off propaganda for the girls' clandestine activities on his small letter press. Max had an animal - a crow - in his shop. No one could say that the bird was Max's pet, but it certainly became a mascot of sorts after the robbery...
Hell Was in a Movie Last Night
...Late one night, while vandalizing the windows of a local Rib City eatery, Neko met a blonde woman with dreadlocks. As she would soon discover, this woman - codenamed Spear - belonged to a sisterhood of underground lesbian animal rights activists...
8.24.2008
Hell With Little Wings On
If I was to become some sort of pixie or sprite, I think I would be a tickle fairy. Except, I'd tickle people at terribly inappropriate times - like at a funeral or when they had to pee really bad.
8.22.2008
The Components of Hell
"Self improvement is masteurbation. Now, self destruction..." - Tyler Durden, Fight Club
It's the rain and this afternoon's procurement of Gerard Way's "The Umbrella Academy" that's put me in this lovely mood. And they say I wouldn't love Seattle. I feel like knitting some black, webby garment and watching something haunting. I wish I had Donnie Darko. (I did once, but I threw it away after a particularly painful inful break-up. Stupid. Well, I figured I wasn't going to live too long, so what was the use of hanging onto material possessions?) I feel like painting in blacks and greys so heavy with water, they just drip down the canvas like tears. I feel like creating something subtly disturbing.
After a few martinis, I don't really feel like spending a thousand bucks on a personal trainer was the right move. Eventually, I hope, I'll be rail-thin like I used to be. I miss those days. Funny how you don't realize things until it's too late. Too bad the heroin diet isn't an option. I don't want to fuck up my life that badly (again).
It's not that I feel so dramatic as to throw myself off of something high. I just fell a comfortable ease and a longing for shadows. It's familiar and welcome. I'm thinking of slipping into something comfortable with webbed stockings, painting my nails black...hiding myself for a while in my personal tomb..giving birth to something awful and mysterious.
The eve of the DNC and static electricity in the air. Watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, I felt sure that something dreadful was going to happen. It was the same feeling driving home tonight, but much closer to home. As if something with inky black tentacles was lurking in the drain, thinking how nice it would be to eat something young and tender. Not me of course, for I'm neither young nor tender anymore. I'd marry it and help it feed. (smile)
It's the rain and this afternoon's procurement of Gerard Way's "The Umbrella Academy" that's put me in this lovely mood. And they say I wouldn't love Seattle. I feel like knitting some black, webby garment and watching something haunting. I wish I had Donnie Darko. (I did once, but I threw it away after a particularly painful inful break-up. Stupid. Well, I figured I wasn't going to live too long, so what was the use of hanging onto material possessions?) I feel like painting in blacks and greys so heavy with water, they just drip down the canvas like tears. I feel like creating something subtly disturbing.
After a few martinis, I don't really feel like spending a thousand bucks on a personal trainer was the right move. Eventually, I hope, I'll be rail-thin like I used to be. I miss those days. Funny how you don't realize things until it's too late. Too bad the heroin diet isn't an option. I don't want to fuck up my life that badly (again).
It's not that I feel so dramatic as to throw myself off of something high. I just fell a comfortable ease and a longing for shadows. It's familiar and welcome. I'm thinking of slipping into something comfortable with webbed stockings, painting my nails black...hiding myself for a while in my personal tomb..giving birth to something awful and mysterious.
The eve of the DNC and static electricity in the air. Watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, I felt sure that something dreadful was going to happen. It was the same feeling driving home tonight, but much closer to home. As if something with inky black tentacles was lurking in the drain, thinking how nice it would be to eat something young and tender. Not me of course, for I'm neither young nor tender anymore. I'd marry it and help it feed. (smile)
8.04.2008
hopeful in Hell
I just keep hoping that someday, somewhere, like on the train or in a bookstore, that someone will see me and fall completely in love. And then, we'll go off together and live a crazy rock star life together.
Another Day, Another Hell
The city smells like refuse again this morning. My stomach feels like I swallowed a lead balloon; bloated, nauseated, heavy. The wafting scent of dumpster isn't helping me much in the battle against vomiting. But, I've got to find coffee somewhere. That's the first step to feeling moderately bearable. Despite the fact that I woke up moments before I stepped off the train, I still have the presence of mind to try for someplace, anyplace but Starbucks. I imagine myself a hero for the small business owner and for groggy people around the country, "fighting for your choice in morning coffee". I discover my new breaktime hangout. They're independent, they're friendly, and their list of veggie sandwiches is as long as my arm. My only regret is holding this scone instead of a nice bagel. I'm not much for sweets, but I'm hoping the food will calm my churning innards. That is, if I can bring myself to eat it.
I get to the office and realize that I've forgotten my key. I can see the red-haired admin inside the reception area, so I knock on the window. She's oblivious. My office, off to the side, usually has one woman in it who never unlocks the door or turns on the lights. So, I knock on that window, thinking that if she's in there and she doesn't answer, I'm going to give her a piece of my mind. She irritates me anyhow. Eventually, I am rescued from my lost-puppy look in the hallway and someone opens the door. There's nobody here in the office. When I check the calendar, it looks like I'm going to be the only one in my department today.
Soon, I think that Mexican woman is going to come. She sells tamales and burritos door-to-door in the building. The same woman used to do the same thing in my last building, the one I was in before I changed jobs. There are only tamales on Friday though. They cost half as much as the burritos, but she knows I'll buy. I always buy, if she's got something vegetarian. But, since she knows I'll always buy, she always brings something vegetarian. She even extends me credit, because I rarely carry cash.
Cash...that's right. I need to get some so I can pay my bills...I need to call my storage and tell them not to auction off my furniture. I have a lot of crap to do today. My stomach doesn't think apricot scones are a good idea.
I get to the office and realize that I've forgotten my key. I can see the red-haired admin inside the reception area, so I knock on the window. She's oblivious. My office, off to the side, usually has one woman in it who never unlocks the door or turns on the lights. So, I knock on that window, thinking that if she's in there and she doesn't answer, I'm going to give her a piece of my mind. She irritates me anyhow. Eventually, I am rescued from my lost-puppy look in the hallway and someone opens the door. There's nobody here in the office. When I check the calendar, it looks like I'm going to be the only one in my department today.
Soon, I think that Mexican woman is going to come. She sells tamales and burritos door-to-door in the building. The same woman used to do the same thing in my last building, the one I was in before I changed jobs. There are only tamales on Friday though. They cost half as much as the burritos, but she knows I'll buy. I always buy, if she's got something vegetarian. But, since she knows I'll always buy, she always brings something vegetarian. She even extends me credit, because I rarely carry cash.
Cash...that's right. I need to get some so I can pay my bills...I need to call my storage and tell them not to auction off my furniture. I have a lot of crap to do today. My stomach doesn't think apricot scones are a good idea.
8.01.2008
7.31.2008
7.22.2008
Big, Fat Hell
I'm having a hard time coping with my weight gain. Whenever one of those skinny girls walks by, I narrow my eyes at her and look at my own expanding belly...and feel bad about myself. I haven't gone to the gym in a couple of months. I'm just so tired when I leave work, it's hard to motivate myself to do much besides sit on the couch.
Thinking that maybe a diet would help, I put myself on the Special K diet. It's the only diet that didn't seem too bizarre or not veggie friendly. My doctor told me to go on the South Beach Diet. So, I went online to find out more about it and what I found out is...if I go on the South Beach Diet, I'll die! There isn't much more than meat on that one. The damn doc knows that I don't eat animal! Bitch. So, the Special K diet basically means that you run around buying everything Kellogs has on their list and munch that stuff all day. The protein water sucks ass, but the rest of it tastes just fine - like cereal.
So, I keep nagging myself to hit the gym and guilt tripping when I don't. I really don't mind the gym once I get there, but it's getting there that's the problem. I always seem to find an excuse not to go.
I hate being fat. So, why am I being so lazy?
Thinking that maybe a diet would help, I put myself on the Special K diet. It's the only diet that didn't seem too bizarre or not veggie friendly. My doctor told me to go on the South Beach Diet. So, I went online to find out more about it and what I found out is...if I go on the South Beach Diet, I'll die! There isn't much more than meat on that one. The damn doc knows that I don't eat animal! Bitch. So, the Special K diet basically means that you run around buying everything Kellogs has on their list and munch that stuff all day. The protein water sucks ass, but the rest of it tastes just fine - like cereal.
So, I keep nagging myself to hit the gym and guilt tripping when I don't. I really don't mind the gym once I get there, but it's getting there that's the problem. I always seem to find an excuse not to go.
I hate being fat. So, why am I being so lazy?
7.18.2008
6.26.2008
Where the Hell Did the Sun Go?
My window display is beginning to affect the weather outdoors. Or, maybe the other way around. On my way home from my little knitting circle (yes, I have a knitting circle, shut up.), the thunder started rolling and there was some spectacular lightening. I thought for sure that I was going to get trapped, jacketless as I was, in a downpour. But, I managed to make it all the way home without getting wet. Usually, I find these situations a little thrilling - or I used to anyway. Last night, however, I was freaking out. The hair on the back of my neck was standing up and I was suddenly and irrationally afraid that I would be struck by a thunderbolt. I was sure I felt doom creeping up on me.
As you can see, there are only a few new clouds, but they look a little grim compared to the others.
As you can see, there are only a few new clouds, but they look a little grim compared to the others.
6.25.2008
A Cloudy Day in Helldontown
Another set of clouds has rolled in.
But they're still light and fluffy, so the birdies below don't seem too worried.
These pictures are of the backside of the whole window display. The opposite side of the clouds have some detail, but you're not missing much. This is the side I stare at all day, so it has to be somewhat entertaining. Partly, I'm just wondering if the people who walk past it day by day will notice what's going on. Also partly, I need something to amuse myself with.
Feeling a bit....mopey today. It's probably because I'm out of meds (again). Stupid.
But they're still light and fluffy, so the birdies below don't seem too worried.
These pictures are of the backside of the whole window display. The opposite side of the clouds have some detail, but you're not missing much. This is the side I stare at all day, so it has to be somewhat entertaining. Partly, I'm just wondering if the people who walk past it day by day will notice what's going on. Also partly, I need something to amuse myself with.
Feeling a bit....mopey today. It's probably because I'm out of meds (again). Stupid.
6.24.2008
Paper Cut-outs of Hell
Yes, I've been remiss in updating Little Tragedies. Sometimes, little tragedies and minor changes obscure the path to blogging. There was a death. There's a new job. General malaise. Much Gummi Popcorn updating. I like having that site as a form of expression, because it isn't so personal.
But, I have a big window in my new office. It looks right out into the hallway - whoopee. So, a while ago, I decorated it with little paper-chain birdies. They were just hanging out.
But then, I decided that the birdies needed some drama. See that cloud rolling in from the East?
Oh. There's another one coming from the West...
I wonder what will happen on this glorious landscape of glass. Stay tuned......
But, I have a big window in my new office. It looks right out into the hallway - whoopee. So, a while ago, I decorated it with little paper-chain birdies. They were just hanging out.
But then, I decided that the birdies needed some drama. See that cloud rolling in from the East?
Oh. There's another one coming from the West...
I wonder what will happen on this glorious landscape of glass. Stay tuned......
5.21.2008
The Sweet, Rich Aroma of Hell
If you'd been with me from the beginning of my blogging days, back when I wrote Neko's Rainy Day, you might have read my rant about Starbucks. As I recall, I was proud of it; the way it was worded, the accuracy of my expression. The gist of the post went like this, "Starbucks is evil. I hate all of the people who I pass in the window, looking out as if they're better than everyone else." Later, I ended up eating my words after becoming addicted to the coffee chain's "Gingerbread Latte" at Christmas time.
Flash forward to the recent past. I found myself drinking Starbucks' coffee almost daily at my last job. So much so, that I bought myself a coffee pot for my desk and starting grinding my own coffee so as to avoid the $5 cup. Then, I decided to switch to tea, so I sold my coffee pot. Then, I started drinking a co-worker's brew and eventually, went back to the evil empire. When I left the job a couple of weeks ago, I was given a gift card for Starbucks.
As a greeting, when I began my current job, I was given another gift card for Starbucks. So, needless to say, I've been there every morning for several days in a row, cashing in my gift cards. Now they're cashed out. Today, I decided that, since I could no longer get free coffee, that I'd try and support another coffee vendor. I walked to another shop called Sugar Beat that I remembered was pretty cool. But, when I got there....it was closed! Not "closed" as in "we'll be back later", but closed as is "for lease"! I'd always remembered them being pretty busy. They had sandwiches and other snacks at lunchtime and the line was always a long one. That sucks.
Since The Sugar Beat was no more, I thought I'd revisit another shop not much further away. The name of this one was Maui Wowi and it had a Hawaiian theme. Their drinks were unique and tasty, but they didn't have much in the way of food. On the way to Maui Wowi, I was lamenting that all the small coffee shops around are disappearing. Was it because of Starbucks? I'd always heard about how the monster sized chain was pushing out independent business, but then again, I'd also always seen plenty of coffee shops around. In fact, until Starbucks, it hadn't seemed that people were really drinking coffee outside of the home and 7-11. It occurred to me that Starbucks may have even created a market for their competition.
As these thoughts swam through my early morning, pre-coffee brain, I thought the words, "If Maui Wowi is gone too, I'm really going to freak out." When I saw the "Open" sign dimmed and started to panic, but then I realized that it was Quiznos' window I'd been looking at. Right next door should be.....what?.....Maui Wowi is gone!!! That's right. Another small coffee shop disappeared. Thank god Daz Bog Coffee is still around (and that they have a very cute cashier).
So, I think I've resolved to never again drink Starbucks if there's anything else remotely close by. Instead of being angry at the company, it's really the consumer's fault. After all, when you own a business, generally the object is to make money. A successful business will make money any way it knows how (hopefully in legitimate ways). So, you can't blame Starbucks for making money. But the dawning realization that struck me this morning is - as a consumer, it's important to support independent coffee if you'd still like a choice as to where you get your coffee from.
Flash forward to the recent past. I found myself drinking Starbucks' coffee almost daily at my last job. So much so, that I bought myself a coffee pot for my desk and starting grinding my own coffee so as to avoid the $5 cup. Then, I decided to switch to tea, so I sold my coffee pot. Then, I started drinking a co-worker's brew and eventually, went back to the evil empire. When I left the job a couple of weeks ago, I was given a gift card for Starbucks.
As a greeting, when I began my current job, I was given another gift card for Starbucks. So, needless to say, I've been there every morning for several days in a row, cashing in my gift cards. Now they're cashed out. Today, I decided that, since I could no longer get free coffee, that I'd try and support another coffee vendor. I walked to another shop called Sugar Beat that I remembered was pretty cool. But, when I got there....it was closed! Not "closed" as in "we'll be back later", but closed as is "for lease"! I'd always remembered them being pretty busy. They had sandwiches and other snacks at lunchtime and the line was always a long one. That sucks.
Since The Sugar Beat was no more, I thought I'd revisit another shop not much further away. The name of this one was Maui Wowi and it had a Hawaiian theme. Their drinks were unique and tasty, but they didn't have much in the way of food. On the way to Maui Wowi, I was lamenting that all the small coffee shops around are disappearing. Was it because of Starbucks? I'd always heard about how the monster sized chain was pushing out independent business, but then again, I'd also always seen plenty of coffee shops around. In fact, until Starbucks, it hadn't seemed that people were really drinking coffee outside of the home and 7-11. It occurred to me that Starbucks may have even created a market for their competition.
As these thoughts swam through my early morning, pre-coffee brain, I thought the words, "If Maui Wowi is gone too, I'm really going to freak out." When I saw the "Open" sign dimmed and started to panic, but then I realized that it was Quiznos' window I'd been looking at. Right next door should be.....what?.....Maui Wowi is gone!!! That's right. Another small coffee shop disappeared. Thank god Daz Bog Coffee is still around (and that they have a very cute cashier).
So, I think I've resolved to never again drink Starbucks if there's anything else remotely close by. Instead of being angry at the company, it's really the consumer's fault. After all, when you own a business, generally the object is to make money. A successful business will make money any way it knows how (hopefully in legitimate ways). So, you can't blame Starbucks for making money. But the dawning realization that struck me this morning is - as a consumer, it's important to support independent coffee if you'd still like a choice as to where you get your coffee from.
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