What??......No way. There's just no way this exists.
7.31.2008
7.22.2008
Big, Fat Hell
I'm having a hard time coping with my weight gain. Whenever one of those skinny girls walks by, I narrow my eyes at her and look at my own expanding belly...and feel bad about myself. I haven't gone to the gym in a couple of months. I'm just so tired when I leave work, it's hard to motivate myself to do much besides sit on the couch.
Thinking that maybe a diet would help, I put myself on the Special K diet. It's the only diet that didn't seem too bizarre or not veggie friendly. My doctor told me to go on the South Beach Diet. So, I went online to find out more about it and what I found out is...if I go on the South Beach Diet, I'll die! There isn't much more than meat on that one. The damn doc knows that I don't eat animal! Bitch. So, the Special K diet basically means that you run around buying everything Kellogs has on their list and munch that stuff all day. The protein water sucks ass, but the rest of it tastes just fine - like cereal.
So, I keep nagging myself to hit the gym and guilt tripping when I don't. I really don't mind the gym once I get there, but it's getting there that's the problem. I always seem to find an excuse not to go.
I hate being fat. So, why am I being so lazy?
Thinking that maybe a diet would help, I put myself on the Special K diet. It's the only diet that didn't seem too bizarre or not veggie friendly. My doctor told me to go on the South Beach Diet. So, I went online to find out more about it and what I found out is...if I go on the South Beach Diet, I'll die! There isn't much more than meat on that one. The damn doc knows that I don't eat animal! Bitch. So, the Special K diet basically means that you run around buying everything Kellogs has on their list and munch that stuff all day. The protein water sucks ass, but the rest of it tastes just fine - like cereal.
So, I keep nagging myself to hit the gym and guilt tripping when I don't. I really don't mind the gym once I get there, but it's getting there that's the problem. I always seem to find an excuse not to go.
I hate being fat. So, why am I being so lazy?
7.18.2008
6.26.2008
Where the Hell Did the Sun Go?
My window display is beginning to affect the weather outdoors. Or, maybe the other way around. On my way home from my little knitting circle (yes, I have a knitting circle, shut up.), the thunder started rolling and there was some spectacular lightening. I thought for sure that I was going to get trapped, jacketless as I was, in a downpour. But, I managed to make it all the way home without getting wet. Usually, I find these situations a little thrilling - or I used to anyway. Last night, however, I was freaking out. The hair on the back of my neck was standing up and I was suddenly and irrationally afraid that I would be struck by a thunderbolt. I was sure I felt doom creeping up on me.
As you can see, there are only a few new clouds, but they look a little grim compared to the others.
As you can see, there are only a few new clouds, but they look a little grim compared to the others.
6.25.2008
A Cloudy Day in Helldontown
Another set of clouds has rolled in.
But they're still light and fluffy, so the birdies below don't seem too worried.
These pictures are of the backside of the whole window display. The opposite side of the clouds have some detail, but you're not missing much. This is the side I stare at all day, so it has to be somewhat entertaining. Partly, I'm just wondering if the people who walk past it day by day will notice what's going on. Also partly, I need something to amuse myself with.
Feeling a bit....mopey today. It's probably because I'm out of meds (again). Stupid.
But they're still light and fluffy, so the birdies below don't seem too worried.
These pictures are of the backside of the whole window display. The opposite side of the clouds have some detail, but you're not missing much. This is the side I stare at all day, so it has to be somewhat entertaining. Partly, I'm just wondering if the people who walk past it day by day will notice what's going on. Also partly, I need something to amuse myself with.
Feeling a bit....mopey today. It's probably because I'm out of meds (again). Stupid.
6.24.2008
Paper Cut-outs of Hell
Yes, I've been remiss in updating Little Tragedies. Sometimes, little tragedies and minor changes obscure the path to blogging. There was a death. There's a new job. General malaise. Much Gummi Popcorn updating. I like having that site as a form of expression, because it isn't so personal.
But, I have a big window in my new office. It looks right out into the hallway - whoopee. So, a while ago, I decorated it with little paper-chain birdies. They were just hanging out.
But then, I decided that the birdies needed some drama. See that cloud rolling in from the East?
Oh. There's another one coming from the West...
I wonder what will happen on this glorious landscape of glass. Stay tuned......
But, I have a big window in my new office. It looks right out into the hallway - whoopee. So, a while ago, I decorated it with little paper-chain birdies. They were just hanging out.
But then, I decided that the birdies needed some drama. See that cloud rolling in from the East?
Oh. There's another one coming from the West...
I wonder what will happen on this glorious landscape of glass. Stay tuned......
5.21.2008
The Sweet, Rich Aroma of Hell
If you'd been with me from the beginning of my blogging days, back when I wrote Neko's Rainy Day, you might have read my rant about Starbucks. As I recall, I was proud of it; the way it was worded, the accuracy of my expression. The gist of the post went like this, "Starbucks is evil. I hate all of the people who I pass in the window, looking out as if they're better than everyone else." Later, I ended up eating my words after becoming addicted to the coffee chain's "Gingerbread Latte" at Christmas time.
Flash forward to the recent past. I found myself drinking Starbucks' coffee almost daily at my last job. So much so, that I bought myself a coffee pot for my desk and starting grinding my own coffee so as to avoid the $5 cup. Then, I decided to switch to tea, so I sold my coffee pot. Then, I started drinking a co-worker's brew and eventually, went back to the evil empire. When I left the job a couple of weeks ago, I was given a gift card for Starbucks.
As a greeting, when I began my current job, I was given another gift card for Starbucks. So, needless to say, I've been there every morning for several days in a row, cashing in my gift cards. Now they're cashed out. Today, I decided that, since I could no longer get free coffee, that I'd try and support another coffee vendor. I walked to another shop called Sugar Beat that I remembered was pretty cool. But, when I got there....it was closed! Not "closed" as in "we'll be back later", but closed as is "for lease"! I'd always remembered them being pretty busy. They had sandwiches and other snacks at lunchtime and the line was always a long one. That sucks.
Since The Sugar Beat was no more, I thought I'd revisit another shop not much further away. The name of this one was Maui Wowi and it had a Hawaiian theme. Their drinks were unique and tasty, but they didn't have much in the way of food. On the way to Maui Wowi, I was lamenting that all the small coffee shops around are disappearing. Was it because of Starbucks? I'd always heard about how the monster sized chain was pushing out independent business, but then again, I'd also always seen plenty of coffee shops around. In fact, until Starbucks, it hadn't seemed that people were really drinking coffee outside of the home and 7-11. It occurred to me that Starbucks may have even created a market for their competition.
As these thoughts swam through my early morning, pre-coffee brain, I thought the words, "If Maui Wowi is gone too, I'm really going to freak out." When I saw the "Open" sign dimmed and started to panic, but then I realized that it was Quiznos' window I'd been looking at. Right next door should be.....what?.....Maui Wowi is gone!!! That's right. Another small coffee shop disappeared. Thank god Daz Bog Coffee is still around (and that they have a very cute cashier).
So, I think I've resolved to never again drink Starbucks if there's anything else remotely close by. Instead of being angry at the company, it's really the consumer's fault. After all, when you own a business, generally the object is to make money. A successful business will make money any way it knows how (hopefully in legitimate ways). So, you can't blame Starbucks for making money. But the dawning realization that struck me this morning is - as a consumer, it's important to support independent coffee if you'd still like a choice as to where you get your coffee from.
Flash forward to the recent past. I found myself drinking Starbucks' coffee almost daily at my last job. So much so, that I bought myself a coffee pot for my desk and starting grinding my own coffee so as to avoid the $5 cup. Then, I decided to switch to tea, so I sold my coffee pot. Then, I started drinking a co-worker's brew and eventually, went back to the evil empire. When I left the job a couple of weeks ago, I was given a gift card for Starbucks.
As a greeting, when I began my current job, I was given another gift card for Starbucks. So, needless to say, I've been there every morning for several days in a row, cashing in my gift cards. Now they're cashed out. Today, I decided that, since I could no longer get free coffee, that I'd try and support another coffee vendor. I walked to another shop called Sugar Beat that I remembered was pretty cool. But, when I got there....it was closed! Not "closed" as in "we'll be back later", but closed as is "for lease"! I'd always remembered them being pretty busy. They had sandwiches and other snacks at lunchtime and the line was always a long one. That sucks.
Since The Sugar Beat was no more, I thought I'd revisit another shop not much further away. The name of this one was Maui Wowi and it had a Hawaiian theme. Their drinks were unique and tasty, but they didn't have much in the way of food. On the way to Maui Wowi, I was lamenting that all the small coffee shops around are disappearing. Was it because of Starbucks? I'd always heard about how the monster sized chain was pushing out independent business, but then again, I'd also always seen plenty of coffee shops around. In fact, until Starbucks, it hadn't seemed that people were really drinking coffee outside of the home and 7-11. It occurred to me that Starbucks may have even created a market for their competition.
As these thoughts swam through my early morning, pre-coffee brain, I thought the words, "If Maui Wowi is gone too, I'm really going to freak out." When I saw the "Open" sign dimmed and started to panic, but then I realized that it was Quiznos' window I'd been looking at. Right next door should be.....what?.....Maui Wowi is gone!!! That's right. Another small coffee shop disappeared. Thank god Daz Bog Coffee is still around (and that they have a very cute cashier).
So, I think I've resolved to never again drink Starbucks if there's anything else remotely close by. Instead of being angry at the company, it's really the consumer's fault. After all, when you own a business, generally the object is to make money. A successful business will make money any way it knows how (hopefully in legitimate ways). So, you can't blame Starbucks for making money. But the dawning realization that struck me this morning is - as a consumer, it's important to support independent coffee if you'd still like a choice as to where you get your coffee from.
4.22.2008
Holy Hell....WTF?!
Um....okay. I've decided on a slow death via starvation. Not really, but I'm having a hard time coping with new guy seeing another chick. He's not to blame though. There was never any pretense of being "exclusive" and I have to give the guy kudos for telling me the truth when I asked him. It's still quite a blow though. I haven't had an appetite for days. I suppose I asked for it. I feel like an ass for letting myself have the feelings I had for him. I still plan on dating the guy, but it's been rough.
So, get this: in the midst of my despair and self-loathing, I get an email from an ex. Remember the guy with the 13 inch mowhawk? The one who uncerimoniously dumped me after proposing? Well, I "he" is now "she". No shit. I'm still reeling from shock. Just when you think things are bad....Well, it's not such a terrible thing I guess. It's good that the guy finally got in touch with the hidden side of him/her. I wished her well and said we could be friends. I just feel like I got run over by a truck though.
So, get this: in the midst of my despair and self-loathing, I get an email from an ex. Remember the guy with the 13 inch mowhawk? The one who uncerimoniously dumped me after proposing? Well, I "he" is now "she". No shit. I'm still reeling from shock. Just when you think things are bad....Well, it's not such a terrible thing I guess. It's good that the guy finally got in touch with the hidden side of him/her. I wished her well and said we could be friends. I just feel like I got run over by a truck though.
4.17.2008
Movies From Hell
I've been up to something good over at Gummi Popcorn! I have introduced the first ever Gummi Awards! Choose from 15 quirky new categories and nominate which movies you'd like to see win! Then, after the nominees are chosen, the reader who submitted the winning nominee wins a prize! Be sure to read "The Lowdown" first. You can get there by using the link in the upper right, once you're at Gummi Popcorn.
Go on over and gander!....while I mope about being stood up for my lunch date....
Go on over and gander!....while I mope about being stood up for my lunch date....
4.09.2008
Do Me Hard In Hell
This is how I spend my off hours at work. Online. I'm sure that habit doesn't make me unique in the slightest. But do you find, like I do, that you may start off at one of your favorite haunts, only to follow a seemingly endless chain of links before you end up somewhere entirely unexplored? That's basically how I found most, if not all, of the links to the left here. That's probably one of the things I adore about the internet.
Today, I started out at The Park Bench. It's a blog that I discovered recently and added to my weekly (but not daily) rotation. Eventually, I ended up at Reverse Cowgirl. It's a blog about porn, sex, prostitution...let's just say "the pleasure industry". The blog was named on Time Magazine's recent list of top 25 websites (or something like that). Funny - I read about that article on about 5 different sites, but never once visited the Time site, or even had to (or even wanted to). Frankly, I could give a shit about Time Magazine.
But, the point of this post isn't to catalogue the odd twists and turns my slacker adventure consisted of this afternoon. The point is that, after reading a little bit of Reverse Cowgirl, I wanted to know some personal information about the blogger. Whenever I read something, I try to take into consideration things like who the person is, what their purpose for writing is, and if that person is trying to convince me of something, do their beliefs align with my own? I think these things are important. If I'm reading a piece of paper, contradicting the validity of the ideas put forth in The DaVinci Code, and I turn that piece of paper over to discover that it was distributed by the christian church, I'm soooooo less likely to believe anything said paper has to tell me. It's because I know their agenda, and I vehemently disagree with their beliefs.
I found a list of prestigious publications that the author of Reverse Cowgirl contributed to, and I found a picture. Not much to go on, but part of the beauty of the internet is anonymity and I don't begrudge the woman the desire to keep to herself. So I clicked on the picture. I clicked on it again. Then I clicked on "enlarge picture". I concluded that the woman in the picture is "way too skinny."
So...did I go through all that trouble just to pass judgement on this woman? What was I looking for, really? A connection of some kind? What does it matter to me how thin this woman is? I'm not going to fit her for a dress, it's not as if I'm going to date her and it's far less likely that I'll ever meet her in person. But, then consider that her appearence isn't going to sway me from reading her blog. Am I a shallow bitch, hoping to find fault in everyone? What's the deal?
(I thought this post was going somewhere, but it seems to have petered out. Sorry.)
Today, I started out at The Park Bench. It's a blog that I discovered recently and added to my weekly (but not daily) rotation. Eventually, I ended up at Reverse Cowgirl. It's a blog about porn, sex, prostitution...let's just say "the pleasure industry". The blog was named on Time Magazine's recent list of top 25 websites (or something like that). Funny - I read about that article on about 5 different sites, but never once visited the Time site, or even had to (or even wanted to). Frankly, I could give a shit about Time Magazine.
But, the point of this post isn't to catalogue the odd twists and turns my slacker adventure consisted of this afternoon. The point is that, after reading a little bit of Reverse Cowgirl, I wanted to know some personal information about the blogger. Whenever I read something, I try to take into consideration things like who the person is, what their purpose for writing is, and if that person is trying to convince me of something, do their beliefs align with my own? I think these things are important. If I'm reading a piece of paper, contradicting the validity of the ideas put forth in The DaVinci Code, and I turn that piece of paper over to discover that it was distributed by the christian church, I'm soooooo less likely to believe anything said paper has to tell me. It's because I know their agenda, and I vehemently disagree with their beliefs.
I found a list of prestigious publications that the author of Reverse Cowgirl contributed to, and I found a picture. Not much to go on, but part of the beauty of the internet is anonymity and I don't begrudge the woman the desire to keep to herself. So I clicked on the picture. I clicked on it again. Then I clicked on "enlarge picture". I concluded that the woman in the picture is "way too skinny."
So...did I go through all that trouble just to pass judgement on this woman? What was I looking for, really? A connection of some kind? What does it matter to me how thin this woman is? I'm not going to fit her for a dress, it's not as if I'm going to date her and it's far less likely that I'll ever meet her in person. But, then consider that her appearence isn't going to sway me from reading her blog. Am I a shallow bitch, hoping to find fault in everyone? What's the deal?
(I thought this post was going somewhere, but it seems to have petered out. Sorry.)
4.04.2008
When I Feel Like Hell
I found this postcard on PostSecret and was really touched by it for some reason.
Thanks, whoever you are. I'm going to keep this around to look at when I feel like Hell.
Thanks, whoever you are. I'm going to keep this around to look at when I feel like Hell.
4.03.2008
Let's Get the Hell Outta Here
Um...that rant about coffee shop boy?.....Over it. I just had an epiphany last night and then *bling*, I was over the whole situation. Yay! Now I'm just upset because I left my iPod on the charger at home. D'oh!!
I would like to abandon my current life/situation and go on to something new. I'm so bored and run down with the whole routine. I tried doing a few new things, like knitting groups and belly dancing. It worked for a while, but it all seems mundane again. I've been cruising around other, more creative/fortunate people's blogs and it's made me a little depressed/unsatisfied.
I need a makeover! No, not the kind where you pay some blone/beauty school cunt to spackle makeup on your face and tease your hair. I mean the kind where Queer Eye for the Straight Guy marches into your apartment (that reminds me. I need to get my dad's garage "pimped" somehow) and makes life beautiful again. Although, that would only work if they moved me to a new city and gave me a new job as well as the wardrobe advice. Poo.
I've decided that I'm going to invent a new style genre. It's called "GothaBilly". Yeah, like the bastard child of "goth" and "rockabilly". Half of my existing wardrobe already applies. It's going to have to be back to the Bettie do as soon as I can afford it. My tummy really needs some flattening. Let's see....manicure (that's when you pay some Vietnamese/Korean cunt to spackle your nails with acrylics)...some sewing and some thrift store shopping....
Oh, and a new car and apartment...yeah, I'm all over that shit.
I would like to abandon my current life/situation and go on to something new. I'm so bored and run down with the whole routine. I tried doing a few new things, like knitting groups and belly dancing. It worked for a while, but it all seems mundane again. I've been cruising around other, more creative/fortunate people's blogs and it's made me a little depressed/unsatisfied.
I need a makeover! No, not the kind where you pay some blone/beauty school cunt to spackle makeup on your face and tease your hair. I mean the kind where Queer Eye for the Straight Guy marches into your apartment (that reminds me. I need to get my dad's garage "pimped" somehow) and makes life beautiful again. Although, that would only work if they moved me to a new city and gave me a new job as well as the wardrobe advice. Poo.
I've decided that I'm going to invent a new style genre. It's called "GothaBilly". Yeah, like the bastard child of "goth" and "rockabilly". Half of my existing wardrobe already applies. It's going to have to be back to the Bettie do as soon as I can afford it. My tummy really needs some flattening. Let's see....manicure (that's when you pay some Vietnamese/Korean cunt to spackle your nails with acrylics)...some sewing and some thrift store shopping....
Oh, and a new car and apartment...yeah, I'm all over that shit.
4.01.2008
Where the Hell is My Phone Call?!
**CAUTION: The following is a drunken rant regarding Neko's distaste for having relations with the opposite sex. If you're rolling your eyes already, don't bother reading any further.**
Rrrrrr! I hate guys! It's always the same old story.
A few weeks ago, I had a brief conversation with a guy in the coffee shop. Very brief.
The next week, same guy approached me as I was knitting with my friends and introduced himself.
Following week, guy sat next to me (same coffee shop) and we had an interesting little chat. After which, I went out for drinks with him and followed him home. Dispite being upset at the moment, I will admit that the sex was amazing. I mean, eyes rolling back in my head, effing fan-freakin'-tastic. I called in sick the following morning and proceeded to spend the rest of that day screwing his brains out. In between the fantastic animal love fest, we had equally great conversation and went out for lunch. I told him to call me and we set a tentative date for this upcoming Friday. Guess who thought she felt something "click"?
Tomorrow will mark one week's time since that lovely evening. Have I recieved a phone call? One god-damned ring of my phone? No. Of course not. A wise woman would tell me not to give up the goods on the first date and somehow it's my fault there's no phone call. Fuck her. This is what I hate about dating men. It's always the same story. They're more than happy to take you home and pile drive you, but when it comes to the follow-up, there's a gaping void of NO PHONE CALLS! This guy did send me a MySpace message, mentioning that he might be at the same coffee shop tomorrow. If he's expecting a warm welcome, he's very much mistaken. Fucker. I suppose he's not terribly interested in moi then. It's too bad I got my hopes up.
So guys, sorry but I'm switching teams - effective immediately.
((grumble, grumble, grumble))
Rrrrrr! I hate guys! It's always the same old story.
A few weeks ago, I had a brief conversation with a guy in the coffee shop. Very brief.
The next week, same guy approached me as I was knitting with my friends and introduced himself.
Following week, guy sat next to me (same coffee shop) and we had an interesting little chat. After which, I went out for drinks with him and followed him home. Dispite being upset at the moment, I will admit that the sex was amazing. I mean, eyes rolling back in my head, effing fan-freakin'-tastic. I called in sick the following morning and proceeded to spend the rest of that day screwing his brains out. In between the fantastic animal love fest, we had equally great conversation and went out for lunch. I told him to call me and we set a tentative date for this upcoming Friday. Guess who thought she felt something "click"?
Tomorrow will mark one week's time since that lovely evening. Have I recieved a phone call? One god-damned ring of my phone? No. Of course not. A wise woman would tell me not to give up the goods on the first date and somehow it's my fault there's no phone call. Fuck her. This is what I hate about dating men. It's always the same story. They're more than happy to take you home and pile drive you, but when it comes to the follow-up, there's a gaping void of NO PHONE CALLS! This guy did send me a MySpace message, mentioning that he might be at the same coffee shop tomorrow. If he's expecting a warm welcome, he's very much mistaken. Fucker. I suppose he's not terribly interested in moi then. It's too bad I got my hopes up.
So guys, sorry but I'm switching teams - effective immediately.
((grumble, grumble, grumble))
Another Hell-a Cool Website
Attention artists, web designers and lovers of cuteness:
I've had Meomi Design's website up in my list of links for quite some time now, but recently revisited to check up on things. (Hint: if you're not scoping my links, you're missin' some good s h i t) Check out this page and make sure to roll over all of the characters and trees 'n' things in the background! It personally made my day.
I've had Meomi Design's website up in my list of links for quite some time now, but recently revisited to check up on things. (Hint: if you're not scoping my links, you're missin' some good s h i t) Check out this page and make sure to roll over all of the characters and trees 'n' things in the background! It personally made my day.
3.31.2008
Holy Hell Geekery, Batman!
The Raconteurs have a new album. And they're on tour. Granted, they aren't quite as good as The White Stripes, but I'll take what I can get since Meg's having problems. You see, Jack White is a god - a musical diety. In person, he's a real sweetheart and genuinely appreciative of his fans. When I met him, I was starstruck for a week. Ticketmaster sends me little alerts when a band they think I like comes to town. After learning of the new Raconteurs album, via said Ticketmaster alert, I was curious to view their website. It is (and this is where the geekery comes into play) set up to look like an old-school green-screen computer monitor, like the kind they have in 80's movies like Terminator. A true geek could probably tell you the make and model and OS for the thing, but I'm not that good. Anyway, go an check it out, even if you don't like the band. You'll see what I mean and then I won't feel so stupid.
3.20.2008
Sista's Gotsta Stick Togetha' 'N Hell
The Park Bench blog is going to be my new regular reading. Just check out this post.
3.17.2008
Soft, Cuddly and Straight from Hell
With all of my knitting groups, belly dancing class, gym workouts and general drunken stupor, I feel like I hardly accomplish anything. But, over the weekend, I sat down and made a Softie! Softies are basically stuffed animals/objects that are designed by indie artists and generally not for children (because of small parts or delicacy). The one I made is from the Softie kit I bought on Wednesday at Fancy Tiger.
I also found this lovely website this morning, called Softies Central. The Softies book is on this blog, at the top left. I'll try and post a pic of my Softie - which is a little cake - as soon as I sift through all the crap on my camera and suffer through the insufferable download process (or is that upload?) I think I could get into making these in a big way. I've got dozens of ideas floating around in the ol' noggin. The trouble is translating them into workable patterns.
I also found this lovely website this morning, called Softies Central. The Softies book is on this blog, at the top left. I'll try and post a pic of my Softie - which is a little cake - as soon as I sift through all the crap on my camera and suffer through the insufferable download process (or is that upload?) I think I could get into making these in a big way. I've got dozens of ideas floating around in the ol' noggin. The trouble is translating them into workable patterns.
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