3.19.2013

I'm not feeling healthy.

I recently received notification of a comment left on this blog. It was an advertisement, encouraging me to sign up for a new social networking blog service thingie. I checked it out. I wasn't interested. But, I'd forgotten all about Little Tragedies. It's been three years since I posted anything here. I think it's about time to resurrect it. It's bizarre to me to read these old posts. While I remember the events described quite clearly, I can't relate to the head space so much any more. I'm...well, I'm not in a good head space right now. It's encouraging to see that I once was. I think maybe I can get there again. I think maybe the time is right to start blogging again, if for no other reason than to see what my thoughts look like in writing.

I'm not feeling healthy.
This is entirely beside the fact that I have a cold right now.
It's my brain that's not healthy. No tumors or cancers or stray fluids are lurking up there (at least, not that I know of). I wasn't hit with a bat. I don't have a concussion. I don't have seizures or blackouts or strokes.

I have a relationship.
Yep.

And it's not so much the relationship that's the problem. It's a good relationship - at least, it would be if I let it. It's that this is one of those "serious" relationships and I haven't had one of those since my divorce. I got divorced because my ex was a psychopath who tried to murder me. So, ya know, I've got baggage. Mind you, this is baggage that's eight years old. But, I hadn't realized just how severely damaged I was until all of these new feelings starting re-hydrating my capillaries. Nerve endings have come to life that had been numb for ages. You know that "pins and needles" feeling when circulation returns to your foot after you've sat on it for a while? It's sort of like that, but emotionally.

So, maybe reviving Little Tragedies will give me a space to sort it all out.

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