Happy Hell-oween!!

Take a look at this comic. I think it's cute and appropriately themed for today.

I'm on my way after work to get a new tattoo. I think that it's going to be my annual Halloween tradition to go and get ink. Here's a peek at my design:



It was drawn by Jason Borne, so don't try to rip of the design, you bastards!!

I love Halloween (grin). It's absolutely my favorite holiday, without exception. Surprised?

Side of Brain, Marinated in Hell

If I could just slow my brain down a moment, I think it would help. I'm terribly depressed today, but my mind is moving a mile a minute and none of it is productive. Maybe if I could just focus for a bit and think about some solutions to my many issues, I wouldn't feel so lost. It's driving me nuts. I wish I could just go back to sleep. I can't tell if the meds are helping or making things worse. My stomach is sick. I need to eat something or I'm gonna ralph. That and the weather and my brain are making me miserable.

Nothing seems to help aside from listening to the new MCR album, which I can't do while I'm here in the office. I know it sounds lame to blame my happiness on a band, but music often has healing properties. It helps me focus and takes control of my emotions for me. It's a welcome relief. Maybe one of the reasons I feel such a connection to this band is that whenever I'm feeling really low, they release a new album. Granted, it's not the happiest music in the world. But, it's sympathetic to my mood and that sympathy is what makes me feel better.

My favorite song so far from The Black Parade is I Don't Love You. It's one of the slower songs, but not as slow as Cancer. I really love Gerard's vocalizations in this track. It's catchy and of course I can relate to the theme. Someday I really have to meet this band. I love the whole group so much!

The Black March of Hell

As you may know, as I hope you know, as you should know, the latest release from My Chemical Romance, The Black Parade, dropped on Tuesday this week. Being as devoted as I am to the band, I preordered my deluxe, limited edition version of the album weeks ago. It came in a black velvet case with limited edition lithographs and a huge book of Gerard's drawings, etc. *swoon*

I've been reading many articles about this new album. Many say that it's got a Queen-like rock-opera quality to it. Some songs do have that essence and I can definately see the reference. Several articles have said that this new album ushers My Chem to a status of pre-legendary proportions.

I have only listened to the album a few times, but it gives me chills. I have the previous two albums, and the band seems to make a big leap each time they release something new. The Black Parade, however, is something incredible. I think this time, they've crossed a line and become something...how do I say....amazing, astounding...no, that doesn't quite do it. Epic, yeah that's the word! Anyhow, the music is like multiple orgasms in my ears!!! I can't help but feel terribly moved by it. It makes me want to do something...dramatic...

All of this aside from the fact that Gerard is the most incredibly attractive man to ever exist! I don't care what color he changes his hair to. I will remain forever obsessed and devoted!!

Neko's Mental Hell -th Day

All this talk of mental health days and I just had to take one for myself. It feels good. I don't seem to be experiencing any of the guilt I usually feel when I call in sick to work. After all, they give "sick leave" for a reason, don't they? I'm going to take a little walk around the neighborhood, maybe a bubble bath, bottle of wine. I'll run some errands and then lounge around for a bit. It's going to be great! Anyone else out there have the day off?

Alone in Hell

Once you realize,
that Alone is all we ever really are,
does that make it easier to be that way?
Once it's more than a realization,
when it becomes knowledge,
when it becomes indelible belief,
when it's finally a truth within,
shouldn't it become like a friend?
If you can reach happiness alone,
won't you always be that way?

Hell? Eh, Whatever.

My depression has been flaring up again. Saturday, it tried really hard to crush me. Today it's come back for a visit, but a little less strong. I'm dealing. I just feel like everything sucks today. Sure there could be many causes. Not going to jump off a bridge or anything, but no free smiles either.

Could it be because of Friday's "date"? I went out after work with the married cutie from the coffee shop. Let's call him "Mr. Grey" for the purposes of this blog. For starters, he's not actually married yet. He's engaged to a girl from another country who is apparently moving here in a month. He spent a good deal of time telling me about how great she is. He also felt the need to tell me that just about 4 weeks ago, the two of them had been "exploring other options" and seeing other people, but that they'd decided to stick together. That's just what I needed to hear, by the way. We had a few drinks at happy hour. I didn't know quite what to say, so I just let him babble on for a while. This guy can really talk up a storm.

After drinks, we met up with a couple of his friends (both of them terribly unattractive). They ate burgers. Juicy ones. I almost hurled. Then Mr. Grey and I went out to a late buffet at an Indian place. The two of us have much in common and he seems to have a head on his shoulders. The whole time, I had two things on my mind. One - gosh, he's really attractive. Two - why the hell is he hanging out with me? Weird. Towards the end of the night, his conversation took on a bit of a condesending tone. Maybe because he knows I'm attracted to him and I can't have him. Maybe because I expressed my envie at his well-travelled past. Whatever it was, I didn't like it. He dropped me off at the end of the night at my friend's apartment and that was all. Nothing terribly exciting, I know.

At several points I had a really, really strong wave of deja vu. It was really uncanny and a bit unsettling. I don't know what that was about.

But, Mr. Grey can go jump off a bridge for all I care. He's not the cat's meow and a bag of kitten chips. The more I think about it, the more I sort of resent his company that night. Whatever. I just don't have the energy or the desire to date anyone anymore. Nobody I meet seems to be A - worth it or B - available. So, done.

Could my depression be, in part, due to a situation some friends are dealing with lately? I'm not at liberty to discuss who or what is going on with them, but it seems to be absorbing much of my thought. It's not something I should stick my nose into, but it's been bothering me from the first moment I heard about it. I'd like to offer them both my friendship and support, but I really don't feel like I'm helping any. I don't know what to do about it. Since it's really not my deal, I guess I should just be there when needed and not dwell on the subject. But, it's really disturbing me. I hope that things work out for the best.

Could I be depressed because I'm hanging out at a friend's place while they're on vacation? The onset seems to coincide with that as well. I'm watching Random's place while she's trekking around the country with her hubby and two tots in tow. It's giving me a little taste of living on my own again. So, am I depressed because there's nobody to talk to, or because I realize how much my usual living situations sucks? Sigh.

Yeah, so.....what was the whole point? The point is that there is no point.

Neko Finally Goes To Hell

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

To Hell With Your Needs!

I suppose it's time for me to do this one. It's the ol' "type in your name + needs in Google" yadda yadda. Here's what cyberverse had in store for me:

Neko needs to bring the flood of goodness to Houston.

Neko needs at least another half-dozen songs.

Neko needs steady boyfriends.

Neko needs to be accessible from Apache.

Neko needs to check first if the pointer is odd or even.

The Neko needs a new neko.

Neko needs to go in for surgery to be neutered.

Neko needs her own bed again.

Neko needs a hand cleaning up his place.

Interesting results. The one about getting neutered was a bit alarming!

To Hell With Marriage

I found out two important things this morning on my caffine run. #1: Coffee-house cutie does not have the same name as my father. #2 Coffee-house cutie also has a wedding ring. Damn. It must be true that all the good ones are married (or gay). However, married guys sometimes get divorced. Married guys are sometimes unfaithful to their wives. I don't have much of a problem with married men. Well, sometimes I do. If they happen to be married to my friends, I have a problem. If they happen to be supporting children, I do. I have, in fact, "been with" a married man at least once. As far as I know, it didn't destroy their marriage. I never met his wife. I suppose if he wanted to be with me, there was something wrong with his marriage anyway. Or maybe I'm just that hot.

On the bright side, he told me that he really liked my card (the one with my phone number on it). When I asked him if he was going to use it, he said,"possibly" and then pointed to his ring. I said, "Just my luck." But, he did say that he really appreciated it and that it'd been a long time since "that" had happened to him. He's got a really cute smile. Damn.

But, I left knowing that I'm not a complete idiot and that all the unnecessary fretting over whether or not giving out my number was a good idea was exactly that. So, I feel better now. I'll feel even better if he calls me though.

Poets Can Go To Hell

Anything can
seem
like it
is poetry
when
there are
only
a
few
letters on
each
line.

At
the office
today
I feel
almost
as if
my head will
fall from
my
shoulders
out of
sheer
boredom.

What the Hell Did I Do That For?

I gave out my phone number again. And after I swore I wouldn't do that anymore. Well, there was this cutie at the coffee shop and I went back during lunch to drop him my digits. The creepy thing? He's got the same name as my dad. What's the policy on that, I wonder.

So, now I find myself waiting for a phone call. I feel like an idiot. This is the last time I give out my phone number unsolicited. Since, no guy in the history of Neko has actually asked for my phone number, it probably means that my phone number will never be given out. That's fine. The fewer complications in my life, the better. I feel like a total ass.

Sheeesh...

How the Hell Does Everyone Do it?

I wonder, sometimes, how other people go about writing their blog entries. Do they meditate on them for a while, write out several drafts before committing? Do they type it out first in Word, do a spellcheck, cut and paste? Do they cover one eye, type out their post with the other hand and hit "enter", biting thier lip?

Is the time involved in posting directly proportionate to the quality of the content?
Is it important that spelling and grammar be accurate?
Is consistency more important than contemplation?

Personally, I use several methods. For Little Tragedies, I either have an idea that I'm exicted about, or a reaction to something I read. Then, I just sit down and let it flow through my fingertips straight to Blogger. I maybe premeditate a few lines before I get to the computer. Usually, I try to do my best at spelling and grammar and sentence structure and so on, but not to the point of looking up words or even clicking that little spellcheck button up there. I feel that it's more honest with all the mistakes, more me.

When I write my reviews though, I am very careful. There are several drafts involved. I'll type a paragraph, get up for a while and do something else, and then come back to it with fresh eyes and read it over. I do research, I do spellchecks, I create an intricate web of links to make everything flow correctly.

Just a little bit of curiosity early on a Monday morning. I was just interrupted by a coworker and it totally f*ed up my flow. Don't you hate when that happens?!

Words Commonly Found in Hell

This one's for you, Shenry:

shenanigan

1. Trickery, games; skulduggery. To "Claim" or "Declare" shenanigans" is to rhetorically and ironically label something as officially deceitful, improper, or otherwise incorrect.
You should learn to spot their shenanigans and avoid being fooled.

2. A deceitful confidence trick, or mischief causing discomfort or annoyance. Often the term is used in the plural: shenanigans. The word may have come from the Irish language, however in some regions, shenanigans can merely be harmless mischievous play, especially by children.
"The advertisement said it would cost $50 but they charged me $75 at the register. I declare shenanigans." The speaker passes off the statement as having some sort of implied official effect, but in reality, it is simply a complaint.

• To "call", "claim," or "declare" shenanigans is to rhetorically and ironically label something as officially deceitful, improper, or otherwise incorrect.
• Shenanigan Kids, a 1920 animated series by Bray Productions.
• Shenanigans (television), a 1964-65 children's television game show.
• Shenanigans, a compilation album by Green Day.
• Shamrocks & Shenanigans, a song and a greatest hits album by the hip hop trio House of Pain.

from Wikipedia

1. A word that has no business in the rap song Neko was listening to last night.

from Neko

Acclaim from Hell

Hey guess what?! My diary for my new cat, Toby, won "diary of the day" at Catster!! Sweet!

Half Eaten Hell

It helps to keep a half eaten meal of some sort on your desk at work. That way, when someone comes up with a task for you, you can give them that mid-bite "can't you see I'm on my lunch?!" glare. Even if it's 4:00 in the afternoon, most people will back away with that confused apology on their face. To get the proper anger to burn effectively in your eyes, you need to walk alllll the way down to Einstien's Bagels and buy a cup of coffee. Then, you need to walk allllll the way back to work carrying the coffee. Finally, while trying to gently set it on your desk, you need to spill the whole damn cup all over the floor and the desk and a few important legal documents. That'll piss you off enough to ward off even the most "emergency e-filing" task.

Grrr! Then go outside and beligerently smoke a cigarette less than the required 15 feet from the office building's entrance. Make sure to look in all the windows.

The Triplets of Hellville

Kitties In Hell Have a tendency to Disappear

My adoption of Kaos, the blue-point Himalayan did not go through. By the time I'd gotten to the shelter on Friday night, he was gone. I'm supposing that he was adopted. But, while I was admiring and lamenting over the other prisoners there, my attention was drawn by a loud meowing. I didn't come home empty-handed.

My new cat's name is Toby. He's an extremely friendly orange tabby cat. I'm so in love! How long has it been that I've wanted an orange cat? Oh...say...since about the age of 7. Now I finally have one. He is a little sick though. Apparently, cats in shelters have a tendency to get "upper respiratory infection". So, he's currently and for the next few days, in quarantine in my bedroom. Even his little cat sneezes are adorable!



It's so nice to have a 3 day weekend. To all of you out there who aren't fortunate enough to hold a position with the state....NYA!!! I have managed to sleep through one entire day of my weekend, so I guess you could call it a regular weekend. Saturday night I went out and got loaded with Silver and friends. She likes to hang out at pool halls and this one was actually pretty nice. After about 5 shots, I didn't really care where I was and after 7, I didn't know where I was. It was fun. Neko got laid. Neko really, really needed to get laid. Neko is happy to have gotten laid. (smile)

On Sunday, my mom and I went out to the cemetery. You know, just to creep around and take pictures. I don't have any dead relatives in this state. I find it odd that my mother supports my odd fetish for tombstones. I took around 100 pics before my damn camera quit on me. That was only moments before I found the creepy crypt with the broken doors that you could see down into. There were some really odd things in this cemetery. A park that I used to live by had actually been a cemetery one upon a time and the bodies were dug up and moved to the cemetery I went to Sunday. Apparently, there had been a lot of controversy at the time because the "move" was a complete debacle. Remains were jumbled up together, not all the bodies were found, etc. Rumor has it that the park has ghosts. I never saw anything but male prostitutes and used condoms in that park. I would have preferred ghosts.

Sip This In Hell

I've just arrived from the inspiring pages of the Book of Shenry. Every so often, I feel the need to comment on a post more than the little comment box and internet ediquette will allow. So, I've left a calling card and am expanding on my thoughts in the privacy of my own blog. (privacy? Ha!)

The subject of the Great Lord of Gor Gor's post was beer. Specifically, how he's not intending to waste his time with such beverage. I understand his perspective on the subject. After all, unless I have an empty stomach, beer doesn't do much for me either. But, I say to people who say to me "I don't like beer" the same thing I say to people who tell me, "I don't like tofu." My response is that "you just haven't tried the right one or had it prepared the right way." After all, there is a world of beer out there (and a world of tofu). There are domestics and imports. There are lights, darks, ambers, etc. My absolute favorite all time beer is "Sheaf Stout". It's imported from Australia and hard to find where I live currently. It's got a dark, caramelly flavor and is not available in 6-pack form or canned. I drink Heinekin at bars (and strip clubs). My first beer was Corona. At home, I drink whatever shitty swill my father has in the fridge.

Yes, Neko is a lush. But, I don't generally puke on people or run out in the street and try to force my way into strangers' cars. I can hold it, because I've had so much practice.

My favorite non-beer beverage is a Vodka martini. There's a certain level of class associated with a martini, be it Vodka or Gin. A martini is something you sip in your cocktail gown at the cigar club. My preference is for olives and I used to drink them dirty. My grandma likes a Beefeater's martini with a twist of orange, and she'll kick your ass and give you what-for if you don't fix it right! A martini can, under no circumstances, be served in a plastic container. A martini must not be served in any other shaped glass than the classic "v" shaped martini glass. Martini's can be chocolate or creme brule flavored and still be martinis, but they don't carry the distinction of high society that the standard gin or vodka do.

All get back to this later...it's lunchtime.

Three Little Kitties from Hell

Some people spend their time on the internet downloading the latest Venture Bros. episodes, or watching midgets of mixed race get it on with amputee transexuals, or blasting their good friends all to Hell in a war game sim. Me? I use the net to watch homemade movies of people's cats chasing feathers, or a group of kittens in Korea pile themselves into tissue boxes. Sick, isn't it? Yeah, I know.

All of this animal philanthropy has gotten me into trouble. The last time I was dropping off a donation at the shelter, I made the mistake of going to visit the kitties. I love animals of all kinds, but the cats is where my true weakness lies. Someday, I'll have a huge ranch somewhere and all the kitties from all the shelters will come and live with me and none of them will ever be put to sleep again, as long as they're healthy. But, for now, there's one particular cat that's got my attention. His name is Kaos. He's a chubby blue point Himalayan. I saw him briefly through the glass of his confining little cage. Love at first sight! Sigh. He was sleeping all curled up in a big, fat fluff of a mound.

I happened to mention this encounter in passing to my father. I didn't even really think adopting Kaos was a possibility, so I didn't push, I just mentioned it briefly. He asked me to send him the info from the shelter. I did. Guess who's taking home a new kitty today!!! Yay! My older cat is going to be P I S S E D!! He's really going to hate me for a while. This Kaos kitty is an older cat, about 6 years, so I'm hoping that he'll be mellow. The little kitty I already have will adjust. I will have to leave one of the kitties behind when I move, because there's no way I can cram 3 cats into the size of apartment I can afford. But, the third kitty will live safely with my father, so I'll have visitation rights.

My Little Soapbox In Hell

Oh...my....god. Has anyone out there heard of these "gay sheep" experiments?! I'm suprised that the University isn't being stormed as I type. As I feel is my duty, I wrote another letter:

Ed Ray, President
Oregon State University
634 Kerr Administration Building
Corvallis, OR 97331-2128

RE: Frederick Stormshak and Charles Roselli Sheep Experiments

Dear Sir:

I am terribly concerned about the “Gay-Sheep” experiments being conducted by Oregon State University’s (OSU) Frederick Stormshak and Oregon Health and Science University’s (OHSU) Charles Roselli. The insidious rationale of this experiment is to identify a biological basis for homosexuality in sheep in an effort to “cure” it in humans. I find this incredibly offensive and unacceptable and I request that this experiment be stopped immediately.

I was shocked to learn that the experiments are being funded by tax payers. The dubious argument that the research is necessary to save ranchers from economic loss would be laughable except for the tragedy. What happened to artificial insemination of livestock? Male sheep don’t necessarily need to be attracted to female sheep in order for offspring to be produced. I’m appalled at this senseless and unnecessary killings involved with this “research”. Surgical estrogen implants? I can hardly express my distain at this bizarre experimentation.

Even more astounding is that researchers intend to translate their findings in sheep to humans. The implication that homosexuality in humans is something defective that must be “cured” is a slap in the face of all of those fighting to gain equal rights and respect denied them due to their sexual orientation. I cannot see that this will in any way help the reputation of the college or benefit its students or its taxpayers. There are so many other causes that are far more worthy to receive funds. Why not direct these funds to more deserving and important research – such as curing real problems like cancer and AIDS?

Thank you for your time and I truly hope that you will seriously consider what I have written.



Sincerely,



The smoking flames of my indignation have been fanned and my activism is ablaze today!!! Good god, I'd almost laugh if it wasn't such an Aldus Huxley nightmare!!

New News from Hell

Starbucks has returned my email. Yeah, I've been blown off again. I have the feeling that there's some admin over there that just went to Word, looked up their template titled "environment letter", inserted my name and hit "send".

Hello Neko,

Thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company with your questions regarding our recycling efforts.

Starbucks is committed to protecting and improving the environment, and is continually pursuing opportunities to reduce, reuse, and recycle our waste products where commercial facilities exist. Most of our retail store recycling is conducted "behind the scenes" in the back room (boxes, milk jugs, etc.). If you are not certain that recycling is taking place in a store, please ask a store manager; he/she can explain what we are doing, what is recyclable in the local area, and what the landlord will allow for waste disposal. One of our challenges is that some parts of the country can process more recyclable materials than others. We are working with a recycling subcontractor to locate local recycling facilities to process materials generated from each store.

In addition to our retail stores, recycling programs exist in our other facilities, including Starbucks Support Center, our global headquarters in Seattle, and our roasting plants in Kent, Washington; York, Pennsylvania; and Carson Valley, Nevada. Additionally, we consider recylability, reusability and recycled content in our paper and packaging purchases to reduce our impact on the environment. Last year, Starbucks paper products contained 26% post consumer recycled content. We have targeted 30% post-consumer content for all future paper purchases.

On the waste reduction side, we are focused on encouraging reuse of coffee grounds by packaging them and giving them to customers to use as a soil amendment in their gardens. We also offer customers a 10¢ discount each time they use their commuter mug to enjoy their Starbucks beverage. Last year, our customers used their own mugs 13.5 million times, which prevented 586,800 pounds of paper waste from reaching landfills. Reusing coffee grounds and the commuter mug discount complement our recycling efforts because they help to minimize the amount of waste that is produced in each store.

Please know that we appreciate your comments and that we take our responsibility to the environment very seriously. Your concerns will be forwarded to our utility specialist, who manages in-store recycling for North America. If you have additional questions or comments, please contact us at info@starbucks.com or call 1-800-235-2883 to speak directly with a customer relations representative.

Thank you again for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company.


Sincerely,

Amber M.
Customer Relations Representative

If you would like to share your thoughts about your experience with Starbucks Customer Contact Center, please click on the link below to participate in a short survey. Your comments will be used to ensure that any future experiences with Starbucks Customer Contact Center meet your highest expectations.



http://www.starbuckscontactcenter.com/star_ccc_index.asp?group=CR&template=CR062