Hi All. Don't know if you got the memo, but it turns out that I'm the new ruler of Earth! Neat, huh? Anyways, before things get all crazy and out of hand, I just thought I'd let you know what the new laws are, so that nobody has to get hurt real bad. Here's the new list of rules we'll be going with from now on and what will happen if you are bad and don't listen to Neko.
Rule #1: There will be no spitting in public. Should you be witnessed spitting in public by any of my new enforcement officers, you shall recieve a ticket and a fine of $500.00.
Rule #2: All those convited of murder, rape or child molestation will be executed immediately upon a guilty verdict. As in, taken in back of the courthouse and shot.
Rule #3: There is no longer such sentence as "life in prison".
Rule #4: Welfare benefits shall extend only to those with two or fewer children. Any family on Welfare with over two children, will have to live off of the two child benefit amount.
Rule #5: Any person convited of animal cruelty shall be imprisoned and have such punishment as was inflicted on the animal involved in the case.
Rule #6: Any person who wears animal fur will be shot on sight. Persons owning garments made of animal fur prior to Rule #6 being enforced shall immediately surrender such garments to their nearest animal rescue association. Any persons posessing garments made of animal fur, or possessing animal pelts of any kind must be employed with an animal rescue association and is required to be licensed to handle such materials.
Rule #7: There will no longer be testing of any kind performed on animals. Any medicals tests that absolutely must be performed on a living test subject or on once living flesh shall henceforth be performed on prison inmates. Prison inmates do not have the option of declining to participate.
Rule #8: The flesh of animals for human consumption shall henceforth be rationed. All factory farms must immediately cease operations. Government inspectors will be dispatched to each farm in the country. Any farm owner or manager found to have shown unnecessary cruelty during the practice of farming will be immediately fed to hungry pigs and/or hogs.
Neko reserves the right to enact new laws whenever she so pleases. However, she will post each new law for one week before it shall begin to be enforced. (You have one week from the date of this notice to comply in full.)
1 comment:
im with you riight up until law number 8. as a carnivor, i will not be doled out my viddles in rations. though i can get with the idea of more humane treatment of the animals that are to be consumed b folk like me.
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