The Talons of Hell

Normally, I'm not into "girly" things. I don't like trying on clothes. I don't like "chick flicks". I don't usually wear makeup. Heals make me cringe. And, I've never had a manicure....until now.

Once, I had a pedicure and it was a huge waste of time and money for me, as was the tanning salon. So, I thought that having my fingernails done would be a similar experience. That is, until my mother showed me her hardcore reinforced talons of doom! She revealed to me a set of fingers with prismatic tips, barely worn away after 3 weeks! I asked her if she ever uses her hands, because I'm always doing something with my fingers (that's not what I meant, pervert). She said, "always". She also described how her natural nails have a tendancy to flake apart. I examined her digits closely, under the bar room half-light. She has just the tips of her nails added and then a layer of acrylic painted over the whole shebang.

For some, I suppose the whole manicure thing isn't such a big deal. Maybe it's not quite the marvel I think it is. But, I realized, after speaking to mom, that I might have possibly found the solution to my own nail problem. My nails have a tendancy to break where they're still attached to the skin. Then, a little corner pops up; a sharp little scratchy point of nail. That little scratchy thing catches on every piece of fabric or strand of hair and tears. It tears away little by little, bleeding where it pulls free of the tender skin underneath. Every time I go to brush the hair from my face, the pointy thing scratches and jabs at me. Fucking painful torture! I've tried clipping and filing, but it never works.

So, yesterday, I went and got myself a fancy shmancy maincure! It looks so great! It is taking some getting used to though, but I can still type (obviously) and function. So, does this mean I'm girly now?