Pictures From the Pit of Hell

Ugh. Have I always been this hateful? Every morning, I despise everyone I see to the point that my stomach churns. Waking up every day has gotten to be like the pain of birth - from the child's perspective, not the mother's. Have you ever stopped to think what a traumatic experience being born must have been? And yet, none of us remembers it. Maybe we're all blocking it out. Fucking torture anyway.

So, yesterday I went to get a salad and had a detestable experience waiting in line. I've got to figure out how I can live my life with the most minimal contact with other humans as possible. On the other hand, maybe it's just this city or just this country that sucks. I still hold out hope for the rest of the world. America is going to crash and burn and we all deserve it. Oh, wait...there was a point....yeah, the purse. I managed to snap, at the end of my long wait in line, a shot of another hideous handbag It isn't loaded with shiny buckles and formed out of animal skin, but it's gross nonetheless. Behold, in all it's horror:



And did I tell you about the guy on the bus a couple of weeks ago? Oh man. It was all I could do not to laugh hysterically. Let this be a lesson to everyone out there to embrace their true body size and shop accordingly (or at least dress accordingly):



Did you pee just a little? I did. Freakin' hilarious! I feel a little better now.

Big, Fat Hell

I'm having a hard time coping with my weight gain. Whenever one of those skinny girls walks by, I narrow my eyes at her and look at my own expanding belly...and feel bad about myself. I haven't gone to the gym in a couple of months. I'm just so tired when I leave work, it's hard to motivate myself to do much besides sit on the couch.

Thinking that maybe a diet would help, I put myself on the Special K diet. It's the only diet that didn't seem too bizarre or not veggie friendly. My doctor told me to go on the South Beach Diet. So, I went online to find out more about it and what I found out is...if I go on the South Beach Diet, I'll die! There isn't much more than meat on that one. The damn doc knows that I don't eat animal! Bitch. So, the Special K diet basically means that you run around buying everything Kellogs has on their list and munch that stuff all day. The protein water sucks ass, but the rest of it tastes just fine - like cereal.

So, I keep nagging myself to hit the gym and guilt tripping when I don't. I really don't mind the gym once I get there, but it's getting there that's the problem. I always seem to find an excuse not to go.

I hate being fat. So, why am I being so lazy?