Hell Gets Hot for Blue Eyes

There’s a hot, young attorney here at the office. He’s been here since I started. I used to get hot flashes when he passed me in the hallway. I swear the boy could be a male model. I can totally see him pimpin’ the Calven Klein. Blue eyes. *swoon* Of course, I’ve long since given up trying to catch his eye. He’s an attorney. He’s on a completely different rung of the ladder. He doesn’t even smile back when I see him. I smile at everyone, not just the hotties. Usually, if I don’t get a return smile, the non-smiler is automatically added to my shit list. But, I could forgive Mr. Blue Eyes for just about anything, especially any oh-so-naughty indescretions and misunderstandings. Anyway, I’m not a hot young attorney, so I don’t get any attention from hot young attorneys. Besides, rumor has it that he’s in a “serious” relationship. I saw the girl at the office Christmas party. She didn’t seem all that special, but boys don’t always have the best taste.

I used to come up with reasons why I wouldn’t want him anyway. Like, maybe he has a little wang, or he’s stuck up, or maybe he’s an obsessive compulsive neat freak, or maybe he’s one of those twisted guys who likes it when his sex partners dress in a diaper (eeewww). Gay? That would just make him hotter. But now, I’m a little more satisfied with my position in life. Now I’m content just to stare at his ass in the hallway. He’s purely eye candy for me. That doesn’t stop me from blushing on the few occasions when he does speak to me though. *swoon* What makes matters worse; he hangs out with the other super hottie attorney (also in a “relationship”) in the office. The two of them together, passing me by the cubicles, is almost too much to handle. We’re talkin’ instant pantie wetness, sudden jump in body temperature and fluttering eyelids here. *swoon* *swoon*

The other guy (let’s call him Mr. Tall) is a real sweetheart. AND he’s a vegetarian. AND he’s been one for almost as long as I have. AND he knows me by name, even though we don’t work together. Sheesh. I wonder what I have to do to snag myself a decent guy. At this age though, any guy who’s not married or gay is probably a fat, psychopathic loser or a felon or a fat psychopathic loser felon. I’ll have to ask my well-to-do friend where his rich buddies hang out. Should Neko go “Golddigger”?