Neko Remembers Why Hell is a Bad Place

SEEMINGLY OFF-HAND COMMENT FOUND GUILTY OF ASSAULT

Early Thursday morning a seemingly off-hand comment made by one Mr. Crane performed a shocking assault on one innocent crush. Authorities say that the incident began as a topping survey in preparation for an office pizza. The conversation, centering on suitable vegetables, quickly escalated from olives to martinis. Neko, caretaker of the innocent crush suggested that she, a fellow admin and Mr. Crane share a round of martinis. Witnesses say that Neko's suggestion was not out of place considering the topic of conversation and did not appear to be intended as a serious plan. However, in response to her suggestion Mr. Crane released this deadly comment, "I never drink with co-workers". Very savagely, this comment leapt forth and impaled Neko's innocent crush with deadly accuracy. The wound was delivered just to the right of the heart. Innocent crush is currently under intensive care at a local hospital. A representative at the hospital relayed a grim outlook for its survival.

Seemingly Off-Hand Comment was spared from the court's harshest sentence due to the fact that SOHC is not normally deadly. Experts suggest that it was only in the presence of Innocent Crush that SOHC was destructive. The judge in this case stated that Seemingly Off-Hand Comment showed a lack of consideration for Mr. Crane's fellow employees first, by calling attention to the separation between their status in the office and secondly by expressing Mr. Crane's opinion of the co-workers involved as lesser beings. Fellow Admin did not appear to be injured although could not be reached for comment.