My cat is a bad one. When I first moved back in with Dad, after I got married, my cat didn't seem to have any trouble with the neighbors. Then I got an apartment, got attacked, and moved back in with Dad. Now, he is contantly fighting with the cross-eyed kitty next door. My dad discovered that the yard next door has a catnip bush, so we think that he's getting into trouble over the stash. Here's the dialogue as I imagine it.
Jiji (my kitty): Awwww yeah! This is the shiznit!
Elmo (next door kitty): Yo, G! Why you always up in here? Get-cho broke ass back over that fence before I got's ta pop your black ass! (yes, my kitty is black)
Jiji: What! What! You got a grip a this shit. Why you gots ta be all stingy an shit? Man, I'll take what I want and your cross-eyed ass ain't gonna do shit!
Elmo: Bitch! Just cuz yo mama was a chow dog don't mean you can chow on my shit, man. I'll snatch you up and put you over my knee, son!
Jiji: I hear you talkin' but I don't see ya walkin'.
Elmo: That's it, punk!
Then the two cats proceed to chase each other around the neighborhood, leaving unsightly clumps of fur everywhere.
The whole point of this post being that I had to take my cat to the vet last night, because Elmo bit a hole through his ear. Like most pets, I imagine, my cat doesn't appreciate my efforts to look after his welfare or the fact that I'm going to get reamed on the bill. He was so unruley, the doctor had to call in an orderly to help keep him still so he could have his ear cleaned.
Now, I've got this liquid antibiotic crap that I'm supposed to administer through a syringe twice daily. Ha! I tried in vain this morning and just about got shreded alive. As you all know, I'm not in the best of moods at any time that ends with "AM". As I'm trying to chase Jiji down for the third time, my dad pipes up with his little words of advice. "You just have to grab him and shove it in his mouth." No shit, Dad. Really? I told him that if he was such a freakin' genius, he could give it a go!
Long story short, kitty didn't get his meds this morning and I was late for work. We'll try again tonight.
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