Where the Hell is My Phone Call?!

**CAUTION: The following is a drunken rant regarding Neko's distaste for having relations with the opposite sex. If you're rolling your eyes already, don't bother reading any further.**

Rrrrrr! I hate guys! It's always the same old story.

A few weeks ago, I had a brief conversation with a guy in the coffee shop. Very brief.

The next week, same guy approached me as I was knitting with my friends and introduced himself.

Following week, guy sat next to me (same coffee shop) and we had an interesting little chat. After which, I went out for drinks with him and followed him home. Dispite being upset at the moment, I will admit that the sex was amazing. I mean, eyes rolling back in my head, effing fan-freakin'-tastic. I called in sick the following morning and proceeded to spend the rest of that day screwing his brains out. In between the fantastic animal love fest, we had equally great conversation and went out for lunch. I told him to call me and we set a tentative date for this upcoming Friday. Guess who thought she felt something "click"?

Tomorrow will mark one week's time since that lovely evening. Have I recieved a phone call? One god-damned ring of my phone? No. Of course not. A wise woman would tell me not to give up the goods on the first date and somehow it's my fault there's no phone call. Fuck her. This is what I hate about dating men. It's always the same story. They're more than happy to take you home and pile drive you, but when it comes to the follow-up, there's a gaping void of NO PHONE CALLS! This guy did send me a MySpace message, mentioning that he might be at the same coffee shop tomorrow. If he's expecting a warm welcome, he's very much mistaken. Fucker. I suppose he's not terribly interested in moi then. It's too bad I got my hopes up.

So guys, sorry but I'm switching teams - effective immediately.

((grumble, grumble, grumble))

Hell Can Be Liberating

Yesterday was not a good day. Primarily, I was still angered and upset by the situation with Mr. Assface (formerly my bf). Secondly, my uterus decided to explode. Then, I ended up eating 2 dinners because Mom invited me to her place for some soup and Dad was expecting me home, so he made some soup. The soup was great, but someone with my expanding waistline does not need to eat 2 dinners. All I really wanted to do was crawl into bed with a heat pad and crash out.

Today, however, was a decent day. I found out that I got second place in a sugar skull decorating contest that I entered. Got the consolation prize. Not too shabby. I also realized how liberated I feel, now that Mr. Assface and I are "over". I was really feeling constricted in that relationship. All the critisism and controlling behavior! Whew! Now I'm free to listen to whatever the Hell I feel like listening to. I can hole up at home and create my ass off! I spent most of my afternoon on Etsy. It's so inspiring! There are so many creative ideas floating around that website.

So, tonight after I shower, I'm going to work on the super-soft semi-challenging dragon scarf I'm knitting for Mom. Then, maybe kick back and watch a movie (to review later). I even have some ideas of how to make nifty Christmas cards and earrings. The mind is abuzz with crafty juices at the moment. I feel so much better now!

The trick is remembering to keep myself in "the zone" and not bother with these pointless relationships anymore. There's so much to do and so many things to work on, I really don't have time for any lameness. And, there are plenty of social occasions coming up with my friends to enjoy. So, I can be single and not housebound! Ha!

Proverbial Hell

"Don't fall for the man who promises the moon. Love the one who delivers it." ~ Neko proverb

Yes, the bf and I are broken up. But, since I try not to make a habit of trashing people I know online, I will refrain from typing up the long list of reasons why it didn't work out. I'm pissed off about it, sure. But, I'm not really all that sad about it. I'm just very, very angry. My only regret is not getting to see that puppy grow up. Such is life, I guess. Jesus though - will I ever have a relationship that actually works out, or am I too fucked up from past relationships to handle another one? At the moment, I'm not terribly impressed with the masculine gender.

The Sweetest Ideas Are Born In Hell

This idea freakin' rocks! If I still had any friends left, I'd use this idea for a little shindig. Maybe when I finally, finally find an apartment, this will be my housewarming party idea. I do have friends though, it's just that the closest two of them have either screwed me over or don't talk to me anymore. But, my bf has lots of friends, so maybe I will get along with them. He's got one close friend who also happens to be his ex-girlfriend. I am SO trying to be mature about it, but it really bugs me. He asked if I wanted to go meet her last night and I said no. I was feeling cranky and insecure and drunk. When I finally meet her, I want to be really cool about the situation and not treat her like shit for no good reason. After all, who's with him now? Right, I am.

A Wire In Hell

You know what gets me hot these days?


Computer geeks.


No, seriously.

Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Hell

For all of the clueless guys out there, here are Neko's Tips on what NOT to do when looking for women.

When posting personal ads:

- DO NOT post a picture of your cock. Most of us girls don't enjoy being flashed by strangers.

~ If you act like you're too good for most of the girls out there, most of the girls won't respond.

- When posting your picture, don't use a scan of some Playgirl model - we can tell!

- If the first line in your ad is: "I love big tits!", even the girls with big tits will think you're an asshole.

When looking to hook up in a bar/club:

-The button up shirt / khaki cargo shorts combo is old, boring and rediculous. We actually make fun of guys like you. At least ACT like you have some style, you fucking lemming.

-You're 30 and you still wear a baseball cap everywhere? Here's the message that sends: you're either bald, immature, insecure or a combination of the three. Even if you're hair is all effed up, it's more attractive than that soiled baseball hat. (Unless you're at a baseball game) If you're losing your hair, it's respectable if you've got the balls to work the look. It's not like we wouldn't find out if you took us home.

-If you're so wasted you can't even stand or pronounce your own name...not a good time to hit on chicks. That would be a good time to call a cab.

-Buy us a drink. If we're at a bar, we always want free drinks (why do you think they invented "ladies night"?). It also shows that you're not a stingy bastard.

Neko Visits Hell Again

I knew better. I'd be a lot happier now if I hadn't. Instead, I feel like taking a kitchen knife to my chest and digging out this cursed heart. I fucking hate this shit. I fell in love, like an idiot. And it was, briefly, returned. However, he decided that his wife and kids took priority after all. I agreed with him, despite my selfish desires. I realized how much I liked him, and realized that I don't want him to fuck up his life because of me. So, what could have happened almost happened, but didn't. And I feel like I need to see my own blood again. I need to cut something open, watch it spill out, feel physically what I'm feeling emotionally. I'm at work right now, but there are tears...little, quiet ones. And there's an intense loathing for life and love and I just don't want to feel anymore.

What the Hell Have I Gotten Myself Into?

I’ve had my head up my ass lately. My room’s a mess, my diet’s gone to shit, and I’m once again spending money like it’s flying out of my ass. (although it obviously isn’t because my head’s up there) I’ve been dating someone and it’s a sticky situation.

See, he’s real nice to me. He’s brought me roses and had my nails done. He’s got a nice car and a house to himself. He treats me all the time and he’s real sweet. Problem is, I’m just not into him anymore (read “after the first date”). The other problem is, last night he just about said ‘those three little words’. I shut him up before he had the chance. Jesus, 3 dates and already he’s offering to co-sign on loans and shit. It’s too bad that I feel sick every time he touches me. I loathe him despite his generosity.

I’ve definitely been on the flip side of this coin. I finally understand why those certain few guys just up and ran. I’d up and run too. I want to up and run. But, I don’t want to break his heart. I know it’s going to happen anyway, so I’d better do it now before things get any worse. I am afraid that he’s going to stalk me, or try to hurt me. And, having already been through that experience, it’s not something I’d like to repeat. Eeesh. I guess I’m being punished again for chasing boys. Do I ever learn? Maybe the point of this one is to teach me about being too eager in relationships.

In other news, I went to see Single File on Saturday night. They’re locals that kick. Other bands playing were Box 3, The Hanks, and Saving Verona. The Hanks were bitchin’!! I’d heard of them, but never seen them or heard their music. They cooked it up on stage that night. Lead singer = really cute. I didn’t see Saving Verona, because I was too busy doing the groupie thing with The Hanks. I got them all to sign my tie. I had the school-girl outfit on. While trying to help the band pack their instruments (you can put that trombone right here, mister!), I met a dude who works with a record company. He was cute in a Rivers Cuomo kind of way and I told him as much. We hung out for the rest of the show and I got his number. No making out, unfortunately. However, I DID get Singe File to sign my underwear!!! Corey (= another hottie lead singer) said, “That’s kinda hot.” I think I said, “So are you.” I wish I’d stuck around a little longer with those guys. Why are band guys so fucking hot??!!