Well, guess who had lots of fun this weekend?
Saturday night I went to a friend's graduation party at a local bar I'd never been to. The graduate in question is a guy that I've had a crush on for what seems like forever. Anyway, the night started slow... I hate when I'm the first person to get to a shindig. I feel like such a sober dork wandering around the bar by myself. The bar was DEAD when I got there too.
I'm always so awkward in these situations. I don't really dance until I'm completely wasted (we'll get to that part), so I chain-smoke and try to lean against something and make it look natural. I have to express my endless admiration for Shenry, who can just start gettin' down right away and make it look good. If I was a super-hero, that would be one of the super powers I'd wish for. Of course, Shen is a super-hero, so who am I to compare? I felt such a sense of relief when he and his wife appeared. I can always talk to her while I hang out by the wall.
I remember speaking with her (I'm not sure what her online moniker is) at one point. I had just gotten a Long Island Iced-tea from the bar and it tasted like a cup of fresh squeezed ass. I had been complaining to her that the Amaretto sours I had been sipping weren't doing the trick. She suggested that I chug the nasty "iced tea". So, I followed her suggestion and almost gagged. The last thing I can really remember clearly was Shen's wife saying to me, "Don't worry. You'll feel it in a minute."
What couldn't have been more than 10 seconds later, I was out on the dance floor, doing things that are probably illegal in most states. I remember stumbling up to graduate-boy and whispering in his ear that I'd had a crush on him since I was 12. (I feel like such an ass!) His response was something like, "That's cool, but you should check out my friend who apparently has the hots for you." My thoughts - "Oh, that must have been the guy who was kissing my neck and feeling me up while I was grinding my ass against his jock." I can only console myself with the assumption that everyone else was as wasted as I was and that no one will remember my drunken antics. I feel like I should call the guy up and at least get his name. I kinda blew him off.
I had also invited my step-sister who lived close by. I'd bailed on her a couple of times recently and felt I owed her an invite. It's a good thing she came, because I ended up crashing at her house. The two of us went downstairs and sat at the bar. We proceeded to down several shots and flirt with the bartender. The bartender threw ice down my shirt and we ended up eating face. Yes, I say "eating face".
Back upstairs, where I had my ass smacked numerous times by persons unknown and gave out a round of ass-grabbing myself. Um...I hope you're wife's not too pissed off at me Shen...
Damn. I thought that after my divorce, I would shape up a bit; not be so wild, more responsible. But, now that I'm free again I'm almost as crazy as I was back in my Austin days. Only difference is, I'm much older and I can feel it. Thank god my step-sister was there. I was able to drive the few blocks to her house and crash on her couch. She likes to throw drinks at me, but she always takes care of me.
At the beginning of the night, I was wearing a t-shirt that says, "Complicated." How ironic.
1 comment:
Dude... it's kind of surreal to read about something I did on somebody else's blog. It's like the same events only through the eyes of another. Ooooh. I really need to see what I look like when I dance. I mean, I appreciate the compliment, but I don't have that level of confidence... I just go out there and figure so-the-fuck-what if I look like spaz. And in return, you've got moves, girl... you should spend less time on the wall and more time on the floor.
You made out with the bar tender? Please tell me it was the chick bartender. And, graduate's friend's name is... oh, that's right this is supposed to be all anonymous and stuff. I'll call you tonight. And you can refer to my wife as Silver or SQ... whatever feels more natural.
What a tear though! Thursday evening to Sunday morning... Non-stop partypartyparty. I am a party amateur compared to you, Rach-, and Matthew. And speaking of Rach-, she blogged a blurb about her trip to CO at her site. I haven't had time to read it (I haven't had time to do shit!), but I thought you might like to know that it's there.
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