Hell's Favorite Flora

Now that my obligation to post the track listing for the second half of my Funeral Mix has been fulfilled, I'm free to ramble about other things.

My brother's birthday passed this last week. I didn't get him a gift, a card, or even find the time to hang out with him. I'm too broke and too busy. Forget about Father's Day. Bro was at Dad's this weekend and the three of us went out to eat last night. While my father took a welcome break from hitting on the teenage waitstaff to run to the men's room, my brother offered me a deal.

He said that if I toked up with him, he'd forgive the giftlessness and count it as his present. Yes, my bro is a stoner. Everyone who offers me a hit from their pipe gets to hear the story of my ganja smoking days. Those days, I would smoke my own weight in KB in a month or less. I had a tent set up over my waterbed with a big screen TV and a Playstation at the foot. A consistent layer of smoke floated in the top foot of space between ceiling and floor. There were 100 different varieties of insence in stock, lava lamps all around, tie-dyes in my closet and psycadelic posters on every wall. Those were the days.

Everyone who offers me a hit also gets to hear why I don't smoke anymore greens. Paranoia! I stopped liking it and so I stopped doing it. One person who never tires of my stoned exploits is my brother. He's been trying to share his stash with me for years. He's been trying to get me to party with him and his teenage friends. Imagine who the cops will look at when the bust into a room of drunken, stoned teenagers having premarital sex. Neko doesn't like jail.

But, in the interest of being let off the hook and saving some cash, I agreed to my bro's terms. We killed a fatty and topped it off with a christmas tree bowl. All of a sudden, I understood my brother so much better. "So THIS is why you're always acting that way. You're stoned!" It's as if I reached enlightenment over and over, but then forgot how I realized it. Of course, the memories flooded back. The two of us BSed for a while, argued about who was more out of it, listened to some Sublime and watched some Spike Jonze videos. Then, bro fell asleep and I went downstairs to play video games. I also understand why he never comes out of his room and plays video games constantly. They're great for battling paranoia. I thought I'd figured out the ultimate winning strategy for playing Lumines on PSP, but I kept forgetting what it was.

The down side of the whole night was that I remembered that most of the jobs I've been applying for require drug screenings. Crap. Spike suggested that I drink a lot of water. But, since THC dissolves in not water, but in ALCOHOL, I think I should get shitfaced for about a week. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll down a bunch of detox tea. I don't intend to reimmerse myself in the lifestyle. But, it's fun just to check in with that side of my past every once in a while.